No end!!

Today is my special day. I am confused what to wear, is that blue chudi good yeah, Kris loves that

I left my hair free and I took my favorite matching studs, bracelet.

After my parents saw me they looked shocked because they never saw me like this before

I m so nervous today because I am going to meet my special person and this is my special day

God I am so excited I checked again and again in mirror to reassure I m ok to look

I m more than ok, I m looking beautiful in this blue dress and high heels

I took one auto and went to park where that person is waiting…

     

8 years back

 My father is an honest police man because of his honesty; he is being promoted and transferred to theni. We went to theni police quarters. First day, we went to grocery bought things and it takes two days to settle. I bought bunch of rose plants planted in front of our home. My daddy found best school for me.

Today is my first day of my school. I waited for my school bus that is the day; I met my Krishna for the first time. He is tall, fair and his eyes are sharp. When I found his eyes found mine, I looked down.

He walked towards me, and I turned back. He came and cleared his throat and asked” hey, what is your name? “

By hiding my smile, I told keerthi and he told I m Krishna studying 9 th oh my god he is my class mate.

I m good in studies and I m the topper of my class but Krishna is very bad in studies his maximum mark is 32 in English

But he never felt bad, his interest is in football messi is his favorite. Book full of photos of him

I started liking him from the day I saw him. I don’t know whether he likes me or not actually I don’t want to know him. Because my father is so strict and he will kill him if he knows that

And today I saw Krishna is standing in bus stop. I smiled at him wow he looks stunning and waited for the bus

He cleared his throat “keethu”; I love if he calls me keethu,

I want to tell you something, he told

Yes Kris, I replied

You know what day is today, he asked

February 14, I answered

Means?  He asked

Hmm valentine’s day, I smiled

Exactly, he grinned

So? I asked

I love you, he told

To my shock… excuse me, I smirked

By maintaining his cool attitude, u looked beautiful even when you are smirking me, he laughed

Kris… Krishna u r my best friend tats al, I lied

I know I love him but more than I am scared of my father. I can’t tell him I love him.

It’s been a week I didn’t talk to him. He came to me “y r u not talking to me”, he asked

I don’t know what to reply him

I blinked

Ok I love you, I will wait for you dear, but please talk to me now, he told

Please change your mind Krishna, I told

I love you keethu, he told again

Then we boarded into the school bus

Then, we started talking like before, but I never tell him that I love him.

And he also stopped asking me whether I love him or not

But he never stopped his love on me. In fact it growing every day

I helped him study and somehow he managed to got pass mark in 10 th

And we again joined same school and every Valentine’s Day he gave me gifts and waiting for my answer

Even now I didn’t find courage to tell him, this person I love him more than anyone. He is the only person I loved. Loved from the day I saw, his sharp eyes, his beautiful smile, and his charm god how can I be without him.

Days went we both went to important phase of our life. +2 our love never affect our studies, in fact he studied better than before and finally we completed our exams

He got decent percentage of 85 and I got 97

Until now, all my morning starts with saying “hello” to him and my night ends with “good night keethu, I love you” text from him

And then I realized I have to leave my home, my parents, my lovable Kris to attend my college. God, I have to leave my city and have to stay in hostel

I can’t be apart from Kris. He got college in our hometown, so he is not going anywhere.

How could I tell him I am going?

Kris, I am going, I told

I know, he told

I try to come often, I consoled

Its ok, he told

Oh, so you won’t miss me, I smirked

He didn’t say anything and gave me a box wrapped with gift cover

Exactly how many gifts will he give!!

What? , I asked

Open, he told

I hurriedly opened

Its Samsung galaxy mobile phone

I opened my mouth “why”, I asked

I know your father won’t buy a mobile phone, he smiled

No, I don’t want, I told

Please, he begged

No, I told

I will miss you, he begged

Ok, I smiled and kept in my bag

Thanks and love you keethu, he smiled

Ok am going, I waved and came

As he guessed my father didn’t buy me a mobile

I have your warden number, if any emergency call from that, he told

Kris is correct I laughed and I nod my head to my dad

I packed everything and started and saw Kris home while going but he is 

nowhere to see,

I want to see my angel at least once; I want to see his eyes.

In bus stand my father settled my things and told me "take care " he went

I found someone sitting beside me in bus

To my shock its Kris

God I missed you man, I want to hug him and tell him, I love you and I don’t want to go, but only tears came out

He found that and asked “homesick”.

No, I told

Then? , he asked

Nothing, I replied

He kept his hand above mine

Its ok, he told

I smiled

Are you coming with me, I asked

Yes offcourse, he grinned

No, I smirked

I coming for your safety, but u r smirking at me, he smiled

Ok, come, I told

I must, he grinned again

Will I ever get fed up of seeing his smile, I questioned myself

Bus started he never leave my hand and off course I don’t want him to leave.

Its 9.30 I opened box my mom gave me. I found 4 idly I gave him 2 and ate 2

And we ate cookies

Then I leaned over window and closed my eyes

My shoulder is free, you can use, he grinned

I leaned over his shoulder without uttering a single word

He didn’t expect this from me

He hide his smile and adjusted himself to made me feel comfort to sleep

Thanks, he told

No, thanks, I told

I feel heaven, I want to hug him but I can’t. I hate myself for being coward

He kissed my knuckles

I felt his warm lips but pretend like sleeping

Then today is my first day of college

Equal strength of boys and girls. No guys seems attractive no one can be as attractive as Kris

My phone is vibrating inside my bag

I found text “good morning angel” from Kris

Good mrn Kris and thanks for strday, I replied

It was me to thank you, he replied

And we continue our chat whole day and night he called me we talked for several hours

I didn’t miss him since I spend most my time talking with my dear as soon as I got few good friends and they found me that I am loving him

kavi is my best friend among all

Did he proposed you, she asked

Yes, I told

Your reply, she asked

Nothing, I smiled

Why, she widened her eyes

I don’t know, I replied

What? She asked

I am scared of my father, I told

So? She still widened her eyes

I can’t tell him I love him, I told by hiding my pain

Are u mad or something, she smirked

Yes, mad of Kris, I smiled

Not funny, she smirked even more

I m helpless, I told

Whether he knew that you love him, she asked

No, I told

Shit, she told

What should I do? , I asked

Marry a guy that your father find for you and forget Kris, she told

Marry other Guy.!! Excuse me? I was shocked

Then that will happen if you continue this, she told

No, I told

Show his photo, she asked

I showed my mobile because I kept his photo as wallpaper

Another thing will also happen, she told

What? I asked

Some gal will fall for him, he may love her, she told with sarcasm in her face

No, I shouted

Yes, better accept his love or forget him, she told and went

Tears burst from my eyes and I found 6 new messages and 7 missed calls from Kris

Oh god, I forgot my mobile was in silent and had a sincere chat with kavi

I opened one by one with tears in my eyes

1. Hey what sup? 2. There? Busy? 3. U ok? 4. Keethu reply me da, I m scared 5. If u didn’t reply I will come there to check you that u r ok. 6. I m in bus stand

Oh shit, I hurriedly reply him “sorry I slept”, I replied

I m ok don’t worry, I slept, I lied again

Within a second I got reply from him “thank god”

U slept?  R u not feeling well? he texted

No, just tired, I replied

Oh, then sleep dear, he texted

No, that’s fine talk, I replied

Then we talked until late night I slept by having my mobile

Days went like this. At the end of every day I m loving more than yesterday

I will go home only during diwali, pongal and semester holidays. Every day I will count days to meet him One day us usual he texted me “hey”

Hi Kris, I replied

Want to tell you one thing, he texted

Hmm, tell, I replied

Today one gal proposed me, he texted

I was shocked, like kavi told that day. I don’t know what to reply, tears burst 

and rolled down to my cheeks and one tiny drop fall on the mobile screen.

U there? , he texted again

I didn’t reply

What’s wrong? He texted again

And after a few seconds he called me

I pick up his call and hide my pain and said hello

What happened? , he asked

Nothing, I told

Tell me, he ordered

What did u reply to her? , I asked

I told her, I love keethu, he told

That’s all, I asked by hiding my smile

Hmm chapter close, he told

Ok, I giggled

So this is y you didn’t reply, he asked

No, I told

Really, he laughed

Yes, I told

Ok then text me properly, he told and hang up

Whenever I want to go home he will come to my university from there we both go home. He is so protective and that journey is my pleasant memory until our next meet

And finally placements came; Kris father is very rich so he set up business for him. And I sat for placements my father wants to get placed in particular company of package 14 lakhs

Even that company is my dream company, my dads told if u gets placed in that company, I will give you whatever u ask.

I thought of telling about Kris to my dad after I get selected into that company.

Kris supported me and encouraged me he even came to my college and made me good. With his support and love I cleared my interview and got selected

After knowing that I got selected my father was very happy and asked me what do u want baby?

With hesitation, dad I like Kris... I stopped

I didn’t hear anything from him. I mustered my courage and told him

Dad I like Kris and I wish to marry him, I told

He laughed

I m shocked. I never thought my father would laugh in this time

Dad? I asked

Kris dad already told all these things, we all waiting for your answer, he told

Krishna knew that? He asked

No, I smiled with tears in my eyes

Tell him I meant call him, he told

No dad I want to tell him on his birthday, I giggled

When is that? , he asked

This weekend, I replied

Come home, I will ask permission to your warden, he told

Thanks dad, I told

Then I was very happy that my father accepted and I thought of buying him gifts.

I don’t know what to gift for that guy who is having everything

I bought 21 gifts since this is his 21^st birthday each small small gifts which I 

searched for over 10 shops and packed everything with gift wrapper and finally I started to theni without telling him I am coming home.

My father picked me up from bus stand. After reaching home I texted him

I m in theni, I texted

What? He replied

My father came there suddenly so, sorry for not telling you, I texted

That’s ok, anyway I m happy you are here, he texted

Hmm, I replied

I need to buy dresses for my birthday, so going town, he texted

Ok, I replied

Can u come to terrace? I want to see your face, he texted

Hmm, in terrace, I replied

He waved me from the road and went

Wow he is so good, his smile is breath taking and tomorrow I m going to tell him how I felt for so many years

I m nervous excited and I don’t know how to tell him , I prepared so many times in front of mirror

Bought dress? I texted

No reply from him

Busy? I texted again

No reply from him

So I called him and seems his mobile is switched off

Why the hell he switched off? I questioned myself and slept for hours

When I woke my father sat beside me and looking his knotted fingers

He tugged my hair behind my ear and asked “u awake”, he asked

Yes dad, I smiled

But he is very upset and I found there is a tear in his cheeks

I crawled on bed and asked what’s wrong?

You must be strong, he told

Dad, what’s wrong? I asked

Krishna … he stopped

What happened to him, I panicked

Lorry hit him, he broke down

Dad... dad... nothing happened to him right? I asked

Come, let’s go to hospital, he told

I didn’t talk afterwards we both went to hospital

His mom broke down after seeing me, I want to be strong nothing will happened to Kris

I told myself hundred times I must be strong

And its 11 55 p.m already

My dad came and told its too late come I will drop you home

No dad, I told

Come baby, he told

I heard alarm in hospital wall clock

Dad, today Kris birthday, I want to wish him, I told

Kris parents broke down again after hearing me and told them nothing will happen to him, after got permission from doctor, I went to his room

His eyes closed, I kept my hand on his chest

Kris. I called

Happy birthday and I love you, I cried

I prepared so many times but never thought I would tell this way, I kissed his forehead and kept my head on his chest

My tears fall on him. I don’t want to move nursed woke me and told me to leave

I slept in lobby chair. Morning everyone rushed to Kris room, I found something odd and went to my father he hold my hands and told “everything will be alright”

I nod my head

Few hours later, doctor came out

I m sorry, he told

His brain is dead, and if u wish you can make your son live in someone’s body, he told

His parents broke down and I fell down fainted. When I opened my eyes I found myself lying in my home

I just recollected what doctor told us before. And ran to downstairs and I found my dad lying in the sofa, mom s crying beside him.

Where is Kris? I asked

why am I here? I blinked

Baby you, should be strong, my mom told

Kris died and his organs are transplanted, dad told

What? Dad, tell me this is a dream, I begged

Dear, you must be strong, my mom told again

No, Kris can’t do this to me, I want to give my gift, and I want to tell him that I love him, I cried

My dad pat my shoulders and allowed me to cry until I could

It’s been a week, and I found myself very week and my parents are worried about me

I shrug on my overcoat and I take a deep breath, but that doesn’t fill the void in my heart, after Kris left me

I sit and stare blankly at the brick wall. I am numb. I feel nothing but the pain, 

his last look, his hair, his eyes, is killing me. I am finding it difficult to eat.

If I talk to Mom, I know I will break even further and I have nothing left to break. 
Torturous memories flash through my mind, bus journey, kissing my knuckles, his care, his love, his humor, I miss him, and I felt like an eternity.

And when I sat on sofa with swollen eyes staring at Kris photo, Kris parents came to my home

His mom hugged me tighter and I broke again

U lose weight dear, Kris mom told

Kris wants you to be happy always, she added

Come I want you to show you something, his father dragged me to his home

He opened Kris room, I never saw his room before

After saw that room, I cried harder than before, I found my photos hanging on 

the walls of his room

More than 10 photos, from 9^th standard, his father came towards me and pressed my shoulder

Don’t cry, Kris don’t like if u cry, he will feel bad, he told?

Kris is still in this world, she told

I blinked at her

Yes dear, his heart is transplanted to some person and that person is alive

Our Kris is living somewhere so don’t cry dear she told with tears swims in her 

eyes.

I realized Kris heart is living somewhere and want to let his heart knows that I love him

I ran from Kris home and took one bus and went to Hospital where he was admitted

I got address and phone number of the person who got transplantation surgery, he is in Coimbatore

I talked with the person father, I told him about my relationship with Kris and all, and he understands me

I am coming to the next week for my relative’s marriage, he told

Ok then, can I come to meet u? I asked

Yeah sure, he assured

And today is the day; I am going to meet that special person, I am going to let Kris heart to know that I love him. I am excited, nervous and I waited in the park to see him

I remembered nurse told his name is sanjay and I peeked through my bag, I took all gifts which I bought for Kris birthday to give him

I heard one voice saying, “Sanjay, careful don’t run”

I turned to the side where I heard voice

Are you Keerthi? One 35 years old man asked me

Yes and you sanjay? I asked

No, I am not, he laughed

Sanjay? I asked

He showed his index finger to one small guy. He is Mr. Sanjay, he told.

Sanjay is 6 years old, sharp eyes, bright smile similar to my Kris, I ran towards Sanjay and hugged him tighter and kissed him

I broke down in front of that cute little guy, in front of my Kris heart.

His little fingers wiped out my tears and his smile filled the entire void in my heart

I spent an hour playing with him, with my Kris and gave all 21 gifts to him

And it’s been a year, I often visit Sanjay and that made me feel better and every year he visits Theni or we all go Coimbatore.

Even though Kris body left this world, his heart is living somewhere and loving 

me, I could live with the memories he left to me.

Love has no ends!!!

                                     Donate your organs

 

Hoping for a miracle!!!

Life is not so easy at times

When I entered into this college, I had a thousand of dreams in my eyes.  Seeing my parents I promised to myself I will make your life better one day. My father wants me to see myself in corporate world. That is the only reason for me to join in this big institution.

My entire relatives asked my father y this risk? But my father is like “Why not?  Whether daughter of farmer remain in house for doing households. No she is a dreamer. She will shine wherever she goes, she will make people happy. I am sure she will make everyone proud one day “Hearing these words I got inspiration I really want to do something to tell him you are always right.

   He wants me to excelled in my studies I always granted his wish I scored very good marks in my HSC and he didn’t even think once before getting application form from SASTRA since studying in SASTRA is not a small thing for family like us

His belief on me made him to do that. I entered into SASTRA by merit that’s my first achievement. That too from very rural village and from middle class family, it is not a small thing. My father always gave me the best starting from my dress to choosing college.

He is the best human being and off course best father. He can’t see me cry he will break down if he saw me crying. He always asks me before taking any important decision. He respects me and my views. That made me and forced me to do something good and made this man feel proud

And then comes my placement, I wanted to get placed in big company this is not only my dream but also an entire family’s dream.  I worked hard. No sleeping not eating well didn’t care how I looks. Never cared of what happening around me my life moved like this and started experiencing interviews

I lost so many companies from Amazon to Microsoft but I never give up since I fully prepared for TCS and I believed I will get placed in that company and wrote my first online test. Wrote very well

But to my shock I didn’t get selected for second round. I broke down. People who didn’t even worked 10% percent for this got selected but I didn’t, I did well also. Where it went wrong, just because I m not lucky, just because I m not deserving, or because I m not good enough. I couldn’t figure out what was my fault for not getting into the company which I worked for so many months.

Everyone around me came and consoled me. Some words encouraged me. Some gave pathetic look towards me. Whatever this is not a time to feel or cry I have to move on. I have to choose my path where it leads to my destination.

I consoled myself saying that, this company is not lucky enough to have me. As my father told me I m a dreamer I will achieve my goal and one day that day is not so far.  “Papa I will make you feel proud one day”. I lost this opportunity because better chances are waiting for me. I will show this world I m god enough. I will show I m deserved and my hard work will ultimately leads to success.

Waiting for my next opportunity, Life has to move on don’t get struck when you face a failure. Everyone will have their turn. For someone it might be early, for few it might take some time. And may be today is not my day and may tomorrow I might get better than what I lost today.

Hoping for a miracle J

Miss u

Just because we don't talk anymore,
doesn't mean that I've forgotten about you.

It doesn't mean that I no longer care..
Truth is, I still do.

I do my best to check up on u..
To see if u r okay..


But,  every time I get the urge to talk to you,
it suddenly hits me that, we are strangers,
u dnt want me in ur lyf,
hence d reason y I'm no longer a part of u
but even though everything's changed;

I just want u to know that,
I'm still here. I'm stil here for you,
I'll still lend u my shoulders and ears

I don't care what time it is..
what i'm doing

Don't hesitate to talk to me,becoz half d time
I wish that u were talking to me

I just really miss ur presence .I miss u being my best  friend,
I just miss you in general..

My Military Grandfa

He born and studied his primary education in Burma and that time Burma faced drought so government asked other country people to leave. So he back to his mother country India. His father left India some 40 years before

When he came back he doesn’t have any means to survive. He is having one elder sister and younger brother. One day from Indian Army officers came to select people. He went for selection without asking anyone in home. He is young, aggressive, stout man so he got selected very easily

But the problem is because he born in Burma and now he is an immigrant from Burma. But the positive thing is his father born in India. After enquiring all this stuffs, that military officer asked him to get certificate from panchayat thalaivar and finally he got that certificate

Within two months he got call letter and entered into a prestigious and proud service ya, Indian Army. And he got married and gave birth to one girl. He worked in Maharashtra as an Army officer for 4 yrs and then he moved to navy

He started working in Indian Navy in Andaman. Stayed with his wife. He arranged marriage to his only beloved daughter. Even he is a military man. He is soft nature, he never shouts his people, he never get angry on his daughter he loved his daughter to the core.

After a year his daughter gave birth to one gal child on July, 1994. He felt happy and peace when he touched his granddaughter’s tiny legs, pinkish hands he found his meaning of life. Even he is a grandfather he felt very young by his heart. That child’s smile made him feel blessed.

After that visit, he didn’t come India for 15 years. Most of his conversation with his granddaughter is via telephone. He sees her growing through photographs. He is living with those photographs. Soon, they became his treasure. He heard each and every news about her only via phone

.Being Navy officer became this tough??  Even now he loved his job. He wants to serve his country. He felt pride in serving to his mother country. The worst part is he and his wife didn’t attend their parent’s funeral. But he never regrets that. He didn’t do his duty to his mother but he did to his mother country.

And now he got retired, and came to Tamil Nadu. He had broken when his granddaughter didn’t identify him. He earned so much but he didn’t earn love from his granddaughter. And gave all his savings, pension money to his granddaughter.

He gave all his love to her. His granddaughter didn’t expect money from him. She expects only a love and affection from him. She wants him to stay with her. And he granted her granddaughter wish. Build home in Tamil Nadu stayed hereafter...

And stayed with his family... and started living happily...

 And I ‘m proud to tell that, man is my grandfather. And I’m saluting for his hard work and honesty  in his service…

my gal frnd :-P

When I came to this college, I don’t know anyone no relatives, no seniors, no school mates. Everything seemed strange wherever I see, hearing words like ‘nuv, nenu,emi’ otherwise ‘chalo,kya’ I am confused whether I am in Thanjavur or not.

And I was sitting with one mafia gang in my class. I am scared of talking to those people. And finally I got nice bench to sit and I find two Tamil girls... And one girl is Thanjavur... thank god namma ooru ponnu. Seeing the girl, my instinct says she may kind, soft nature, bhla bhla...

And off course my judgment is correct she is very sweet and nice girl. We become close so easily. I used to share everything with her. She is good to everyone. Everyone who sees her will ask this question how r u maintaining ur hair??  Ya, her hair is very long and thick.

She is crazy over guys who wore black shirt. She hates potatoes and tomato rice. And most of our fights are over day scholar’s food. We spend time talking all idiotic things. If she is near to me I will feel comfortable and secure and one time we were in separate class those days are really horrible...

I cursed CBCS registration for million times. But again that made me to understand how much she means to me.

I can’t forget days we spend together. Four years of college she knew me more than I know about myself. She was there for even if I was wrong and will support me.

Can’t forget days we spend in Chennai. We did window shopping in Forum Mall ate wine chocolate. And sighted tutor came for us. And also days in Kerala, crazy eating bread omelet.  It's still lingering in my mouth. And lungi dance in hostel room. Day in kovalam beach are the most memorable to cherish for life long

She is my special friend she changes my life just by being part of it. She makes me laugh. She convenience me when I was sad. When I ‘m down she will lifts me up. She is with me through hard times, sad times and confused times.

And if you find such a friend, feel happy and complete because you had a forever friend, and forever have no end

Greatest pain

You know what the greatest pain in this life is.
It is not to die, but to be ignored by the person you love

The greatest pain in life is not to die
But to be forgotten by the person
And never got a call from the person and didn’t attend your call
When you show someone your innermost thoughts and they laugh in your face.
And then you will realize only person who cares about you, is you.
And you will understand the fact Life is full of pain,
But does it ever get better?

Will people ever care about each other?

and make time for those who are in need??
Each of us has a duty to mankind to tell our friends we love them.

If you do not care about your friends you will not be punished.
You will simply be ignored...
forgotten...
as you have done to others.

Miss u Appa

It was my first drive to thanjavur. The scorching sun had sucked every bit of energy I had in me, despite the air from window
and I had lost the will to retaliate, yet again, to my dad's comments. " hereafter my  daughter will come home only twice in six months.Looks like you won't be seeing much of us for the next four years",

he said with that smirk on his face that I found very annoying. "Let it rest, will you? She already feels bad enough about going hostel to study" , said mom,
coming to my rescue for what seemed  like the hundredth time that day.
 But, my dad wasn't one to give up. "She has to know what she is getting into", and turning to me he continued,


It was harder than I had imagined it would be.
Happiness on having gotten into a good institution had quickly transitioned into a feeling of nostalgia that was slowly creeping into me.
 I didn't want to leave home. I didn't want to leave my family. But, not one person around me seemed to understand how I was feeling.



As the feeling of frustration built up in me, I had started lashing out at people and disengaging myself from everyone around me.
I knew I was making everyone around me unhappy.
But, I realized that in a weird way I didn't care that I was hurting people.
All I wanted was for everyone to feel as downbeat as I did.
Before dad could pass another remark on my going away to college, we had pulled into a neat parking spot beneath a tree.
It really was time to leave.

Mom helped me carry my stuff up to the second floor.
With three bags in my hand, I heaved open the door to my room to find ten beds, tables and chairs laid haphazardly, cramping what was left of the room.
I was never going to get used to living in a hostel. "Oh, don't worry too much. Hostels are fun", said mom cheerfully as she helped me set my room to make it feel at least remotely close to home.
Only strange faces walked past me as I kept looking out uncomfortably, scanning the crowd outside for at least one familiar face. This was not going to be fun.


After what seemed like an eternity, mom and I walked back to the parking lot, to where dad was standing, he is sitting in stone bench, lost in thought. "Appa", I called, to jerk him out of his musing gaze.
"There you are! All done?", he inquired. But, I didn't answer his question. Something had changed. That irky grin on his face had vanished and in place of the familiar gleam
 I was so used to seeing in his eyes, was a tiny drop of tear that he was trying so hard to hold back. I was petrified. I had never seen the man cry.



"Is everything alright?" mom asked him.
He ignored her question and spoke to me, "Call me if you need anything at all, okay?", and that tiny drop of tear rolled down his cheek.
 I broke down. I don't remember having cried so hard.
I wept uncontrollably as dad took a step forward and wrapped his arms around me protectively, speaking between my sobs "Don't you cry in front of me. Cheer up.
It is a new journey". I only cried harder.



After numerous reminders from mom asking me to eat right and keep my things safe, they finally got into the bus and waved.
I stood rooted to the spot and waved back until  was out of sight and then turned to slowly walk back to my room, feeling lonelier than ever.
two days later, another strange face walked up to me and asked , "security called u ". I went and she handed over a courier to me.
I opened the corier hurriedly to find inside an umbrella and bag of chocolates.
Pinned to the bag of chocolates was a note with dad's untidy handwriting on it that said,


You forgot your umbrella at home. I got you a new one and something else you might like. We will miss you
"I miss u too Appa"

thirumanam ennum nikkah

Evening 5.30 she was solving aptitude problems.  her phone started ringing she eagerly took her phone and noticed it was unknown number.

 she had a habit of not storing numbers of person whom she doesn’t know much. she picked and answered one boy with very low voice wishing her for her birthday which was 2 days back.

 she thanked and asked why such low voice. He told he is in fasting and only two days more for Ramzan.

 As she was from the village where half number of population are from Muslims. she know much about their culture, slank, their dressing, their food habits etc. she had more Muslim friends in my school.

But why do she think more about them suddenly??  It’s because of the movie she watched today “thirumanam ennum nikkah”?? Or because she talked to that Muslim guy?? Or it’s because of Ramzan is next week??

No...

It’s because of one person who gave her so much to remember...

she knew him from her 5^th standard though she talked him twice or thrice in school days. And after schooling they exchange  numbers via social networking.

He introduced himself as her best friend’s fan. Ya, he loved her best friend for 2 years. And finally he mustered his courage and proposed her but she rejected him. So she talked and consoled him and made him feel better.

Then their friendship started blooming. they became so close. And now he proposed her even after knowing that she is  hindu she told him she is not interested but he consoled her and told he was madly in love

she got angered because of his behavior. Then days went and again he told the same thing but this time she never believed and she never take his words serious. she strongly believe that he still loves her best friend.

But he is not...

Even he played with her so much he sometimes broke her heart. But still she likes him. she don’t know it’s because she is loving him?

she is confused.

But whatever she can’t do this. Because he is her schoolmate and he loved her best friend and most importantly he is Muslim

 He confused her more he showed too much love. But this time she took strong decision. Yes, she started loving him.

she believed religion never be a problem for them. Though, it is a big issue for their parents. she accepted his love. they talked more but only two words ‘then’  ‘u tell’ but she never felt bored of this. Even after seeing that words for 100 times she still want to see that.

she felt, she was happier person in the world. she felt,her love is so pure and true. she felt, she could fight with anyone if he is with her.she felt, she will give up anything for him. she thought he would also feel the same.

But No. he didn’t love her he just had a time pass and due to his age problem he just needs a girl to share his dirty thoughts. And ultimately, that victim is herself

When she came to know that he used her, tears rolled down on her cheeks. At one point she even thought of giving up her religion for him.she thought he is her everything. but she was cheated by him. He played with her emotions , feelings and she was hurt, broken into pieces.

Cried until, her eyes became dry. Made promises to herself not to think about the person anymore. Made promise to herself not to believe anyone. Made promises to herself not to love anyone.

He is a coward he woke up her feelings with no intention of loving her. If he really not having dare to love her why did he proposed? 1000 questions arose in her mind. But answer is one ‘she is so stupid’

And now she is fine at least, she didn’t go any extreme and when she opened her face book on her birthday got message saying ‘happy bdy ’. she don’t have any angry on him she replied him ‘thanks’

It’s doesn’t mean that she still have feelings on him. It means he didn’t even worth for her to get angry on him. And whoever using girls for their own dirty thoughts are basically not a human being. They are just garbage. Unfortunately, she happened to love that garbage for a while.

And now she came back to normal girl who is chasing her dreams.. Being alone is happier than being with wrong person isn’t?