Isn’t innocent a bad thing?!!!!!

                                            

Isn’t innocent a bad thing?!!!!!  Why am asking this because am one of those creatures before some years….. Hmmm… I could describe myself as “ Black curly hair ,always messy hair, and medium height, little clumsy, done awkward things without skill, falling down often and hurting myself…. I think I would be the person known to everyone in school, because of my attitude…

Off course am going to share my school life…. Wait.., not about my studies but “my love” why could I named that as “Innocent love” ??

Ya that suits to that… I would nice to everyone , smiles a lot ,but sometimes be over reacting but never talk dirty or curse others , admired to school seniors.. Everyday when I entered school, I was crazy playing with my school friend his name Mr.blacky  being black I named that cute dog as  Mr.Blacky.

 I cried a lot when it was shot by a person . Next I loved most in my school is my school senior . He always said that I was cute and innocent puppy for him… I liked him a lot , my  friends were crazy about him. But I am the person he loved so, I was disliked by some girls. Whenever I fell down, he felt sad for me, he comfort me and I cared him a lot asking stuffs like had dinner?  What doing? How are you?

Even though, he was bored with that, he keeps on answering for those… I never stop while speaking sometimes , he didn’t understand what languages I am speaking… yes, my pronunciation is too bad instead of pronouncing  the word I enunciated them.., I ruined many occasion of him, but I never sorry for him ,because of my lack of knowledge!!!

At first, my childishness and innocence made him to like me ,but  after some times that let him to struggle he came to know what life is? How cruel it was? When he left the school he left all his feelings of mine also he forgets his innocent puppy!!!

Without knowing that , I keep on caring and loving him he started ignoring me , he didn’t pick my calls because, he found new girl in his college . When I came to knew that the explanation, he gave me is so weird!!!!

        “I WANT A GIRL TO LOVE

         AND SHARE MY LIFE

       NOT A CHILD TO PLAYING

       AND KIDDING AROUND ME….”

Isn’t innocent a bad thing???

Being innocent is my fault??

With that pain, I came to know the world, I can’t bear that pain but even though, I didn’t get angry on him. Because his feelings were true, when he was with me.. I started noticing other girls their behavior and how to become more mature ,I really want to change my attitude.. I digger a grave and I buried my attitude, my innocence , and my originality, everything into that..

I thought I born again.. But everyone who loved me, wants my old me but I don’t want that…

Now situation worse for him ,so many misunderstanding between him and his new lover.. finally they did break up.. He asked me to start again...if I were an old innocent and childish puppy, I probably accept him...but now , I am not like before, I am bit mature, knowing well about people, I even get angry on people.. Apart from custard apple I hate many things, I even curse people !!!

Why do I accept him ?? I reject him by saying

“I WANT A BOY WHO LOVE

 MY ORGINALITY NOT

MY FAKE ATTITUDE”

If I accept him, I never being true self to him ,I keep acting for his sake… I don’t want that!!!

I am having doubt now…  Isn’t innocence that much bad thing????

Whether  I have to maintain this fake attitude for rest of my life??